It’s a debate that’s lighting up online forums all over Iberia.
No, it’s not the referendum for Catalonian independence (although I guess that’s important, too). And no, it’s not Real Madrid vs Atleti.
Or anything else on the Spanish government’s brainwashing agenda.
The big question on everybody’s mind is this:
Who is the sexiest English teacher in Spain?
From the meatheads on Forocoches to the trolls on Menéame, and (perhaps) even at the water-cooler in your own office, the debate rages: Daniel Welsch, or Venus O’Hara?
Some Spaniards have been heard to comment, “Oh, that Daniel! He’s soooo hot… He can teach me the present perfect any time!”
Others’ opinions are more along the lines of “Venus? I’d like to get irregular in her verbs.”
Well, I for one am quite certain of the answer, but in the interest of fair play and objectivity, let’s give Miss Venus a chance.
Here’s a roundup of the sexier aspects of each side…
The sexiest English teachers in Spain are both gingers of course. Let’s start with Daniel.
- Bestselling author (unsexy English grammar books)
- Abundant body hair (sexy yet comforting to the touch, like a teddy bear)
- Fiery redhead (balding, but not bald)
- Looks terrible any time a camera is in the room (possibly better IRL?)
- Excellent eyesight (doesn’t need glasses)
- Speaks fluent Spanglish.
- Moobs (perky little A-cups)
Venus, on the other hand, is pretty sexy in her own way. But it’s true that gingers don’t do very well in direct sunlight…
- Bestselling author (very sexy English grammar books).
- Limited body hair (for those with an armpit fetish that doesn’t involve the pitbush)
- Fiery redhead (full head of beautiful hair)
- Quite photogenic (maybe she can teach Daniel a couple of things)
- Looks totally sexy in glasses (like one of those hot “librarians” in your dad’s Hustler magazine)
- Speaks fluent Spanglish (and Anglalonian or Catanglish or whatever you want to call the mix between the Catalonian and English languages)
- Actual boobs (cup size to be determined)
I guess I’ll leave it up to the audience to decide. But if you need help, here are a few outtakes from the HOT Venus O’Hara photo session several weeks ago.
The two sexiest English teachers in Spain are willing to go to great lengths to win this competition.
Mirror, mirror on the wall…
Who’s the sexiest ginger of them all?
So what do you think? Venus or Daniel? Daniel or Venus? They both have their pros and cons… In the end, it might just come down to how much you like body hair.
Hit me up in the comments!
P.S. Okay, I googled it. The mix between Catalonian and English is “Catanglish”–it’s a hashtag on Twitter. Also, there’s exactly one person on Twitter who came up with the word “pitbush” before me. It’s tough to invent words these days, knowing that you can just google anything and find out you’re not as original as you had thought.
P.P.S. For more from Venus, check out my post on sex in Spain. Have fun!