Conversation with a Peruvian Waitress

I went to a Peruvian restaurant in Madrid recently, and this happened…

Waitress: [To Latin Friend] Dile al gringo que esta salsa es muy picante, pero que no se preocupe. No se va a poner colorado, porque ya es muy colorado. Más colorado no se va a poner.


Waitress: [Patting me on the back] No te preocupes, gringuito, eres muy guapo.


[Note from the editor (AKA el gringuito)] — I guess I’ll leave this without comment. The ceviche was good. So was the jalea. And nobody understands my capacity for spicy. I’m from fucking Arizona. I know what spicy is.


Mr Chorizo.

P.S. Jalea, in Peruvian cuisine, is apparently like a mixed fish fry. But it’s way better than the European version. Take note, ye who think I’m weird for not liking seafood. I think I just don’t like these boring European recipes. I’ll eat Peruvian or Japanese seafood any day. I’ll even go to the Estrella Central (my favorite Chinese restaurant in Madrid) and eat fried jellyfish. And I’ll love every second of it.

P.P.S. See also: Conversation with a Hairstylist and Conversation in the Language School #2.

P.P.P.S. A lot of people just take one look at me and decide I can’t speak Spanish. And unfortunately, a lot of times they don’t change their mind EVEN WHEN I START SPEAKING SPANISH TO THEM. It’s like I’m sitting here with my C2 level having a perfectly intelligent conversation with you and you don’t even hear it. Oh well… it’s what the hypnosis people say – that most people go through their lives almost entirely asleep.

P.P.P.P.S. For some excellent ceviche and jalea, check out La Casa del Ceviche at Calle San Felipe, 11, right in my old neighborhood, Tetuán. And I’ve also got an article for you if you want to know more about the words gringo, guiri etc. Have fun!


How did I end up in Spain? Why am I still here almost 20 years later? Excellent questions. With no good answer... Anyway, at some point I became a blogger, bestselling author and contributor to Lonely Planet. So there's that. Drop me a line, I'm happy to hear from you.

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