American High School Teachers vs Spanish High School Teachers

Can you spot the seven differences between American high school teachers and Spanish high school teachers?

It’s easy… Just read on:

American High School Teacher

Of course you’re going to have to use calculus once you’re out in the world of work.

Jesus!

I know all kinds of people who worked their way up to become Vice President of major companies using calculus!

These multi-variable functions and derivitaves are the stuff on which Western Civilization was built!

Who the hell do you think you are to question the utility of these exercises?

You know who doesn’t use calculus literally every day?

Janitors… That’s who!

Do you want to grow up to be a janitor?

No?

Then sit the fuck down and memorize this meaningless bullshit so you can pass the test and then forget about it for the rest of your life.

And hurry, it’s almost 3 PM and I’m not drunk yet!

Spanish High School Teacher

Of course you’re going to have to use the future perfect continuous passive when you emigrate to England in search of a better life.

¡Cojones!

I know all kinds of people who have gotten jobs at prestigious English universities just by using the future perfect continuous passive.

These ridiculously impractical verb tenses and fill-in-the-blank exercises are the stuff upon which Anglo-Saxon Civilization is built!

Who the hell do you think you are to question the utility of these exercises?

You know who doesn’t use the passive voice in everyday conversation?

Nightclub doormen… That’s who!

Do you want to grow up to be a doorman?

No?

Then sit the fuck down and memorize this meaningless bullshit so you can pass the test and then forget about it for the rest of your life.

And hurry, it’s almost 5 PM and I’m not drunk yet!

For more brilliance…

Want more? Check out How to teach beach and bitch. It’s just as brilliant as this article, and it also has a photo of Ryan Gosling.

And for some more about Spain, try: 7 things you should know before dating a Spanish girl.

Didactically yours,

Mr Chorizo.

Daniel
 

How did I end up in Madrid? Why am I still here 12 years later? Excellent questions. With no good answer... Anyway, at some point I became a blogger, bestselling author and contributor to Lonely Planet. So there's that. Drop me a line, I'm happy to hear from you.

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