God gives us our free agency. He gives us the power to choose Satan.

I just ran into some friendly mormon missionaries out there in the barrio. They seemed like nice enough fellows, but not particularly well-informed about Mormonism. My extensive wikipedia reading allowed me to ask some questions that really stumped them.

In the end, they told me I should talk to God and ask Him if I should become a Mormon. God, apparently, is pro-choice. He wants us to choose him, but we’re also free to choose Satan.

I asked what happened if God told me I should become a Catholic.

“Well, he’s certainly not going to do that!” replied Elder Hoskins. 

I talked with them for a few minutes, took their card, and left. 

God has not yet answered my question, but every time I ask, I imagine myself giving up fornication and wearing that full-body Mormon underwear, and I can’t help laughing. 

Until He responds, I guess I’ll be exercising my right to choose Satan.

P.S. Update, 2023: Here’s my article about the meaning of life. And if you’re into fornication, why not check out my full in-depth guide to sex in Spain? Have fun, y’all!


How did I end up in Spain? Why am I still here almost 20 years later? Excellent questions. With no good answer... Anyway, at some point I became a blogger, bestselling author and contributor to Lonely Planet. So there's that. Drop me a line, I'm happy to hear from you.

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